shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
