Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
