spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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