Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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