Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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