please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
