i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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