ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
