No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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