no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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