I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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