its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
