A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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