omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize