kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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