I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
