I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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