All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
