i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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