my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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