im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
