just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
