and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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