I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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