I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it hurts more in the daytime
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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