my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
All the doctor said was why
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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