Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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