Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
