It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
