I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
