the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize