Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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