that's an acceptable place to lick
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
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I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
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YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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