he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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