Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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