they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
