I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
