Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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