If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
