there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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