Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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