better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
