He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
