I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
