thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
