Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So much rum. So many feels.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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