getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
