My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
