so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
