12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
