WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
