Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think my moral compass just broke
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize