Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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