Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
