Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
