im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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