no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
