it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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