after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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