whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize