it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
